BARRIE - Carole Hartzell is expecting a tough Mother's Day.
But she has been here before.
The Barrie mother will be thinking of her daughter, who's deployed somewhere in the Indian Ocean and her son who's studying at military college in Kingston.
For army, navy and air force moms whose sons and daughters are deployed, Mother's Day will be a reminder of the bonds of motherhood, but also of the vast gulf that separates mother and child. And always, there's the reminder of the all-too-real dangers of military life.
"It is difficult. My husband and I think about her non-stop. We don't think about what she's doing, but we follow the news and know there's always a risk in being out there," Hartzell said.
She's just one of thousands of military moms who'll be thinking of their children today. There are 34,316 Canadians serving in the army, 19,943 in the Canadian air force and 10,943 regular forces serving in the navy.
Hartzell's daughter, Sub-Lt. Stephanie Hartzell, 24, is serving as an engineering officer on board HMCS Winnipeg in the middle of the Indian Ocean. The Toronto Sun interviewed a cross section of military personnel, including several aboard the the Winnipeg, to find out what their thoughts were for this Mother's Day.
SOMALI PIRATES
The warship is working with NATO allies patrolling the Gulf of Aden to protect this vital shipping lane from the threat of Somali pirates. The counter-piracy mission also includes escorting merchant ships across the Gulf of Aden and to deter and disrupt piracy off the Horn of Africa.
Hartzell will likely vacillate between pride for the important work her daughter is doing, and the fact Stephanie won't be able to share dinner with her today.
In fact, she said the last time the entire family was around for Mother's Day was seven years ago -- all a part of military life.
In a satellite phone call from the the Winnipeg, Stephanie says her mom has been her rock.
"She's basically been there to push me along my entire life. Thanks to her and my dad, I've gotten to where I am today and that's the reason I've been successful. Their support and encouragement and guidance has helped me make the right decisions," Stephanie said.
PART OF THE JOB
Being away is part of the job when you're in the military, but it doesn't make it easier.
"It's one of the longest deployments I've been on, but my mom already knows not to worry. It's what my job calls for. I volunteered for this," says Petty Officer Derek Card, 36, who grew up in Brampton and is also aboard the Winnipeg, where he watches on-deck personnel.
Lucy Card, 56, says her son has always wanted to serve his country and joined the reserves when he was still in high school.
"What most mothers take for granted is they'll see their children on Mother's Day," Lucy said. "I was a little apprehensive when he first signed up, but it's been his dream. My husband, Wilson, and I are both very proud of Derek and all he's accomplished.
"I wish he was here. It's tough on moms on Mother's Day, but Derek keeps telling me that he's very well trained in what he does -- that's his way of attempting to reassure us."
Remedios Campana, 68, of Mississauga, says she especially misses her son, Lieut. Ellister Campana, 42, who's serving aboard the Winnipeg.
"I'm missing him a lot, especially on Mother's Day. It's not something you get used to. It's quite lonely without him, but you can't do anything about it," said Campana, who's visiting Ellister's wife, Laila, and their 19-month-old son, Archibald, in British Columbia.
Laila, 36, says her husband has missed many of their son's 'first' moments since Ellister left on this mission.
"Ellister left before Valentine's Day and we'll be celebrating our fifth anniversary on May 18. This is the longest deployment he's been on," said Laila, who's counting down the days until his return on Aug. 21.
Petty Officer Edward Bennett, 42, is second in charge of his section for sonar operations aboard the Winnipeg. He says Mother's Day will be a time to reflect.
"I came to Canada from Jamaica in 1977. My life started to turn around and I wanted to put it toward the country which did something for me," Bennett said in a satellite telephone interview from the Gulf of Aden in the Indian Ocean.
"My mom means more to me than she believes. She means the world to me. It is very hard to be away from family. I want to thank my mom very much for all her love and support. I wouldn't be who I am today without her. She was a big part of making me who I am. The things she did for me are all-encompassing. She's done so much for me as an individual," Bennett said.
"I'd like to tell my mom that I love her and want to thank her for all she's done most of my life."
His mom, Andrea, 66, of Toronto, says she's proud of her son.
"I do worry about him all of the time because he's out there against the pirates. I know he'll come back safe because he's not out on the field, he's on a big ship," Andrea said.
"Teddy does e-mail and he's a good boy. He's a good example to his children and really takes care of his family. I wish him all the best and I really, really love him. I'm glad he made the right choices with his career and his family."
It's not just the moms of military personnel who are making sacrifices this Mother's Day. It's also the wives.
Bennett's wife, Rosa, 41, has been holding down the fort at home, caring for their two children, Mia, 5, and Luke, 9, while her husband is away.
"It's a lot to juggle -- running a household, running after two kids, doing the groceries and you don't get a break with taking out the garbage because everything is on you. I think the hardest part is missing the special occasions," Rosa said.
The advent of technology and the Internet at least have made the parting a little more bearable on families. Now, the crew doesn't have to wait until they reach a port for letters or phone calls.
Leading Seaman Christopher Leger, 40, says he's going to be e-mailing his mom, Louise, on Mother's Day.
"I think of all the times my mom has stood by me during every sail and every deployment, and I wish I could be with her during Mother's Day. I would like to tell my mom that I love her very much and to thank her for all her love and support," Leger said.
"Even though my job has me so far away from my mom, we talk on the phone almost every day when I am home. She is the world to me and there is nothing in this world I wouldn't do for her," Leger said.
"My mom means the world to me. She stood by my brother and sister and I during the times when I was young and my dad had a drinking problem. She did everything she could to give us a good life and taught us the difference between right and wrong," said Leger, who works as a steward aboard the Winnipeg preparing meals.
Louise, 65, of Brantford, says she constantly worries about her son.
"I'll be spending Mother's Day with my other two children, but we'll all be thinking of Chris because I really worry about him out there on the water with the things going on with the pirates. I will see things on TV happening with the pirates and I will break into tears," she said. "I miss him very much. No matter how old he gets, he's still my child and the worry never goes away."
The constant worrying is the common thread that binds all mothers with children deployed overseas.
Linda Fauteux's 25-year-old son, Cpl. Elliot Fauteux, of 3 Royal Canadian Regiment, returned to Petawawa from a tour of duty in Afghanistan last month.
"My son was allowed to come home early because he was expecting his first baby. Elliot came home in time for his baby girl Brooklyn's birth," Fauteux said.
Fauteux, 50, said it's such a relief to have Elliot safe at home this Mother's Day, as opposed to living in the desert fighting the Taliban and avoiding improvised explosive devices in Khandahar.
"It's chronic worrying when he's overseas. It's the first thought in my mind when I wake and the last thought before I go to bed. It's with me all of the time and until you've experienced it, you can't imagine what it's like," Fauteux said.
"It's a great Mother's Day knowing that all my kids are safe and healthy and I'm a gramma!"
For families with multiple members serving Canada in the army, navy or air force, the sacrifices seem to loom larger.
Hartzell knows all too well the disappointments of missing holidays, birthdays and special occasions, because her husband, Brian, was an air force pilot for 20 years. Her son, Bobby, 23, is studying at the Royal Military College of Canada in Kingston. And of course, there's Stephanie, somewhere in the Indian Ocean chasing pirates.
"It doesn't get any easier, but they are doing something for their country," Hartzell said. "And as long as they're happy and they pursue the career they want and they are successful, that's all every mom wants."
SHARON.LEM@SUNMEDIA.CA
