Analysis: Don't 'eff it up' Rob Ford

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford. (QMI Agency Files)

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford. (QMI Agency Files)

Mike Strobel, Toronto Sun Columnist

, Last Updated: 7:31 AM ET

TORONTO -- Rob Ford, welcome home. Hurrah! Now, back to work. DON’T EFF IT UP!

Every cellphone camera in the city is watching you. So is every American late night comic, Internet troll, maggot journo, bobblehead collector, and Olivia Chow.

You are the Most Famous Canadian in the World, of almost biblical proportions — the return of the prodigal crackhead.

This is more exciting than a Beatles reunion.

But, hey, no pressure, big fella.

Keep your nose clean — I mean clean — and you could be the greatest comeback story since Lazarus or Bill Clinton.

The Resurrection of Rob Ford, headline writers will call it.

Your timing is perfect. Missed the World Pride parade by a day, so no awkward questions about traditional family weekends, personal choices, etc., etc.

When you swoop back into City Hall Monday afternoon, all those gaudy gays will have packed up their thongs and gone home.

Attention will turn back to you and the mayoral campaign — two months after you blundered into rehab and 118 days before the Oct. 27 vote.

Yes, 118 days. And nights. Long, hot, alluring nights fraught with parties, badass pals and other perils. Did I mention cellphone cameras?

One more bawdy, brawling entry in the Rob Ford Film Festival, and it’s back to making labels and tags for a living.

That would be a shame, since your political bent is so sensible — minus the crack, drunken stupors, colourful lingo and consorting with gangsters.


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