Is the doctor out of line denying a young woman a tubal ligation? Thu, June 11, 2009
BRAMPTON -- Tarrah Seymour and her husband, Adam Sylvester, met at Mohawk College and it was practically love at first sight.
They are decidedly young -- she's just 21, he's 23 -- but it is obvious that they are focused and determined to create a good life for themselves and their growing family. Seymour is five months pregnant with their second baby, and while her family wasn't thrilled with her early parenthood, she always knew she wanted to have her children early and Sylvester agreed.
Limiting themselves to two kids would allow them to shower both with the advantages they hope to give them -- from outings to the zoo to one day, college educations.
To ensure things unfold as they should, they asked her obstetrician to tie her tubes during her planned Caesarean section in October so they won't have any more kids.
But the doctor told tham a tubal ligation was simply not even open for discussion. He told her that she might get involved with someone else down the road and regret her decision. He told her it's a permanent sterilization method and he's had so many patients wanting it reversed, that he won't even consider performing one now on any woman under 25.
Is the doctor out of line denying a young woman a tubal ligation?
YOU SAID
111 Comments
The doctor didn't tell her what she could or could not do.
He merely said he would not do it, and is totally within his rights when it comes to elective surgical procedures.
uplink, 2009-07-03 14:18:29
I do not think a doctor or anyone else should be able to tell a woman what to do with her body! I was told the very same thing when I was 23, it enraged me beyond words. I never did have a second child, and i do not regret that for a moment I am now 56. I would hate to see it come to the point of having it done illegally like abortions used to be.
Lucy Brlow, 2009-07-02 20:04:50
Hey There Dogma:
I just read your reply to me, and your welcome. I am pleased to hear you came from a hard working and valued upbringing. This so reflects on one's life style, parents are our teacher's. I guess you can say, my story wasn't as happy, for my parents had very little life skills. Therefore, the way I grow-up I became conditioned to not being validated, not heard,invisible in many ways. My fault in some sense to allow this behaviour, not that I deserved it, although it's difficult to explain, only I accepted and settled for second hand best instead of seeking better for myself. Only until I had my own children, then I realized there has to be better out there. I decided not to have any more children, because it wasn't fair to the two I already had. My ex-husband didn't respect or care enough for the family he already had, didn't need to bring more life into this world, when the parents lives were unsettled. I learnt anyone can be someone, all by themselves, as you said it's hard not to be accepted or an equal, not being valued.
I am grateful that I do have these NUTBARS on Canoe Comment, believe me, I've came across many nut jobs in my time,hahaha, you certainly don't sound like one to me!
Again thanks and take care,not too worry, you weren't harsh in any way.
Charmaine, 2009-07-01 21:37:29
Hey Charmaine!!
Thanks for the reply/kind words.
Hopefully I wasn't to harsh.
I grew up in a family during the 60/70/80's where both parents worked in fairly good paying jobs and at times Mom made more money than Dad and was higher profiled so to speak. The stereotypical Dad is the hunter/boss was blurred a bit. I know it wasn't easy for my Dad (40/50's guy you know) but from their actions, I understood that a partnership/marriage must be mutually beneficial as it is a work in perpetual progress continually giving and taking.
There is no Boss, there are two independent individuals who by caring for each other, and their children, through their actions of support, understanding, consideration, empathy and sympathy will hopefully achieve fulfilment.
Obviously Charmaine from your note you are not achieving your fulfilment. I am sorry for you, not in pity sense, but in regret that you are not accepted nor considered as an equal. There is no worse feeling than not being valued, especially by those close to us.
Well don't fret, you are most valued by us nutbars here on Canoe Comment, even if we don't agree on everything...
Take care!
Dogma, 2009-07-01 04:37:16
Maz. Your BC example is not about elective surgery and I would find the Doctors irresponsible in that case.
I don't disagree with your argument about charging all people for elective surgeries, it would save our medical system millions. This is where private insurance could come in and cover those costs fully or partially. Universal Health Care doesn't include, IMHO, elective surgeries.
As for age, it is a big factor in the decision we make, especially when it comes to surgery and the "modification" if you wish of our bodies. had Wisdom comes with age, like it our not. I would say 99.9% of us have made decisions in our younger days that had we the opportunity to change them we would have, and not necessarily bad decisions. (guilty as charge I am afraid)
I beleive the Doctor must take age very much into consideration as it is not just the age of the physical body that is affected in medicine, it is the age of the mind as well.
I wholeheartedly disagree with the Dr who said not to judge your patient just treat them. (judge: noun versus verb?)
An Doctor should judge his patient, only then can he treat them. Understand, value, assess, empathize are part of judging.
BigRig, 2009-07-01 04:13:33
ATTENTION TO DOGMA who posted your comment back to me on 2009-06-13-1807:26.
I have not read these comments concerning this topic for awhile, logging in tonite, I found your feed back to me.
Just wanted to say thank you, pardon my french(my ex- husband! Many people said the samething over the years. It's comforting to know a complete stranger thinks the same. Plus knowing there are good caring husbands out there,take their wife into consideration, not for granted. I am proud to know you are an upstanding man and I pray you are appreciated by your wife, she is blessed to have you.
May you both be blessed years to come and all good for your tomorrows.
FROM YOUR TOPIC PAL.
Charmaine.
Charmaine, 2009-06-24 23:21:02
Difficult to see how a doctor can be labelled as wrong for declining an elective procedure. Is it really any different than a plastic surgeon refusing to install a set of triple K implants in a 5 ft 100 lb female? he would be perfrctly within his right to decline base on his opinion that the woman would not look properly proportioned. She, on the other hand, can keep shopping around until she finds an unscrouplous surgeon who will do any operation for cash.
The Crusher, 2009-06-23 12:43:49
Big Rig, good points made. People today are so cought up in their "rights" they they get detached from reality.
Twitty, the usual pointless drive-by crap splatter drivel. Feed your hamster for crap sake.
The Crusher, 2009-06-18 13:03:05
She has the right to have the procedure done. And the doctor has the right to perform or not perform the surgery.
The baby is not due until October, she can have her GP send her to a different OB, who will perform the procedure.
I do not think she is wrong for wanting this, but I also do not believe the doctor to be out of line. The doctor may have had bad experiances with younger women who end up regretting the decision when they are with husband number 2 and blamed the doctor for not giving her the proper council other than hard to read forms.
Scott, 2009-06-18 11:57:36
NO the Dr. was not wrong. what if her kids were kill, would she then want more? What about the health effects of this type of birth control, for her? What about the mental effects, and don't say there aren't any, because I've been there done that, and I speak from experience
Elizabeth, 2009-06-18 10:28:17
Is the doctor out of line denying a young woman a tubal ligation?
He merely said he would not do it, and is totally within his rights when it comes to elective surgical procedures.
uplink, 2009-07-03 14:18:29
Lucy Brlow, 2009-07-02 20:04:50
I just read your reply to me, and your welcome. I am pleased to hear you came from a hard working and valued upbringing. This so reflects on one's life style, parents are our teacher's. I guess you can say, my story wasn't as happy, for my parents had very little life skills. Therefore, the way I grow-up I became conditioned to not being validated, not heard,invisible in many ways. My fault in some sense to allow this behaviour, not that I deserved it, although it's difficult to explain, only I accepted and settled for second hand best instead of seeking better for myself. Only until I had my own children, then I realized there has to be better out there. I decided not to have any more children, because it wasn't fair to the two I already had. My ex-husband didn't respect or care enough for the family he already had, didn't need to bring more life into this world, when the parents lives were unsettled. I learnt anyone can be someone, all by themselves, as you said it's hard not to be accepted or an equal, not being valued.
I am grateful that I do have these NUTBARS on Canoe Comment, believe me, I've came across many nut jobs in my time,hahaha, you certainly don't sound like one to me!
Again thanks and take care,not too worry, you weren't harsh in any way.
Charmaine, 2009-07-01 21:37:29
Thanks for the reply/kind words.
Hopefully I wasn't to harsh.
I grew up in a family during the 60/70/80's where both parents worked in fairly good paying jobs and at times Mom made more money than Dad and was higher profiled so to speak. The stereotypical Dad is the hunter/boss was blurred a bit. I know it wasn't easy for my Dad (40/50's guy you know) but from their actions, I understood that a partnership/marriage must be mutually beneficial as it is a work in perpetual progress continually giving and taking.
There is no Boss, there are two independent individuals who by caring for each other, and their children, through their actions of support, understanding, consideration, empathy and sympathy will hopefully achieve fulfilment.
Obviously Charmaine from your note you are not achieving your fulfilment. I am sorry for you, not in pity sense, but in regret that you are not accepted nor considered as an equal. There is no worse feeling than not being valued, especially by those close to us.
Well don't fret, you are most valued by us nutbars here on Canoe Comment, even if we don't agree on everything...
Take care!
Dogma, 2009-07-01 04:37:16
I don't disagree with your argument about charging all people for elective surgeries, it would save our medical system millions. This is where private insurance could come in and cover those costs fully or partially. Universal Health Care doesn't include, IMHO, elective surgeries.
As for age, it is a big factor in the decision we make, especially when it comes to surgery and the "modification" if you wish of our bodies. had Wisdom comes with age, like it our not. I would say 99.9% of us have made decisions in our younger days that had we the opportunity to change them we would have, and not necessarily bad decisions. (guilty as charge I am afraid)
I beleive the Doctor must take age very much into consideration as it is not just the age of the physical body that is affected in medicine, it is the age of the mind as well.
I wholeheartedly disagree with the Dr who said not to judge your patient just treat them. (judge: noun versus verb?)
An Doctor should judge his patient, only then can he treat them. Understand, value, assess, empathize are part of judging.
BigRig, 2009-07-01 04:13:33
I have not read these comments concerning this topic for awhile, logging in tonite, I found your feed back to me.
Just wanted to say thank you, pardon my french(my ex- husband! Many people said the samething over the years. It's comforting to know a complete stranger thinks the same. Plus knowing there are good caring husbands out there,take their wife into consideration, not for granted. I am proud to know you are an upstanding man and I pray you are appreciated by your wife, she is blessed to have you.
May you both be blessed years to come and all good for your tomorrows.
FROM YOUR TOPIC PAL.
Charmaine.
Charmaine, 2009-06-24 23:21:02
The Crusher, 2009-06-23 12:43:49
Twitty, the usual pointless drive-by crap splatter drivel. Feed your hamster for crap sake.
The Crusher, 2009-06-18 13:03:05
The baby is not due until October, she can have her GP send her to a different OB, who will perform the procedure.
I do not think she is wrong for wanting this, but I also do not believe the doctor to be out of line. The doctor may have had bad experiances with younger women who end up regretting the decision when they are with husband number 2 and blamed the doctor for not giving her the proper council other than hard to read forms.
Scott, 2009-06-18 11:57:36
Elizabeth, 2009-06-18 10:28:17