Ori Goldstein says playing poker used to make him feel vibrant and full of energy.
"It was the action and the rush I got from playing poker that made me feel alive -- that's what kept me hooked," says the 27-year-old, who describes himself as a recovering compulsive gambler.
Goldstein began playing poker online at the age of 18, until he maxed out a few credit cards.
He graduated to playing poker at casinos, until he discovered underground clubs -- one conveniently located across the street from York University, where he was studying.
"I would sit in a room with no windows every night from 8 p.m. to 4 a.m. Sometimes, I'd be there from a Tuesday night and come out Thursday wondering where all the time had gone," Goldstein says.
He cut himself off from his family and friends to play poker every chance he got, moving out of his parents' home and living in an apartment to host poker games.
"My whole life was a sham. I lost a ton of money and a lot of my time playing with a bunch of other degenerates whom I considered to be good friends. I can't believe now that's who I chose to associate with and pushed away my family and friends," Goldstein recalls.
"To be honest, I also remember the bad times and the depression. I thought it was easier to drive off a bridge driving back from the casino than to face the music of how much I owed the next day, but thank God I didn't. It was a viable alternative, but that would have been the easy way out," Goldstein says matter-of-factly.
Somehow, throughout the seven-year addiction, Goldstein managed to keep his wits about him to finish university and graduate from York with a sociology degree.
That's when he hit rock bottom and decided he needed help. Goldstein's parents paid off thousands he owed fellow gamblers, so they wouldn't threaten his life any longer. This didn't include the credit cards, bank debts and other bills he owed. Upon graduating in June, 2006, at the age of 24, Goldstein started seeing Jay Pasternack, clinical director of New Life Counselling and program director at the Jewish Addiction Community Service.
"Problem gamblers have this magical thinking that they've got a skill and have calculated the odds and they can beat the system with their formula ... and the highs and lows of gambling gives them a fixation to keep going," Pasternack says.
"At JACS through Gamblers Anonymous' 12-step program I met other people who had been through what I'd been through, but they were older and had lost their cars, businesses, homes and families and they accepted me. That was the turning point to my recovery," Goldstein says.
"I'm still recovering, but the compulsion is gone," explains Goldstein, who has been free from gambling for three years.
He is in his second year at Centennial College, where he's learning to become a certified addictions counsellor and he's also volunteering at JACS.
"I wasn't a good role model before, but now I'm a positive influence in my family and people call me for help instead of the other way around. I'm giving back ... and being a productive member of society, which is much more satisfying than sitting at a casino for eight hours a day," Goldstein says.
SHARON.LEM@SUNMEDIA.CA
