Suzanne Boyd is not exactly my idea of a little old lady.

There she is, 5-foot-10 of drop-dead.

Add six inches for Alexander McQueen heels.

No granny ever wore a lavender frock like that.

It's from the spring 2007 collection, with flamenco pleats. Handbag by Chanel.

Grandma Moses, she ain't.

Yet Ms Boyd, barely 45, is suddenly in the vanguard of the grey revolution, as editor of its lead magazine.

Moses Znaimer introduces her yesterday.

The press conference is called Moses Znaimer's New Vision of Aging for Canada.

Znaimer wants to do for the 50-plus mob what he did for young pups with CITY-TV in the 1970s.

He's even coined a name for the aged: Zoomers.

Son of a gun aims to be king of all us old farts.

Has he been raiding the cupboard at his medical marijuana company?

Or is he just a geriatric genius.

Nearly 45% of Canadians, including me, are over 45.

Our ranks are swelling as fast as our feet.

We live longer. We like to party (with naps). We have all the money.

An ad man's dream. You'd think.

Uh-uh, says Znaimer. Less than 5% of ad revenue targets us.

"That's not just negligence, that's insulting," says Znaimer.

"We're not going to put up with it any more.

"You don't want to talk to us? We don't want your products.

CHICKEN COMING HOME

"The chicken is about to come home to roost."

Znaimer, 65, is already plucking it.

The press conference is in the lobby of his classical station CFMZ, in Corktown, soon to be joined by his golden oldies AM 740.

Not to mention his new stable of websites geared to greybeards.

A pharmacy and denture clinic cannot be far behind.

Jeez, it's Geezer Central.

And, now, Znaimer has taken over CARP.

I (dimly) remember writing about CARP when I zoomed past 50 two years ago.

It used to stand for Canadian Association of Retired Persons.

That got boring, so they changed it to Canadian Association for the 50-plus.

But they kept the acronym, CARP.

I don't know why. A bottom-feeding fish? But old people can do odd things.

Anyway, Znaimer, newly executive director, wants to grow its membership to a million (it's now 350,000) and join a global alliance of the aging.

The name CARP stays, with a snazzy new fish logo.

NAME CHANGE

But CARP magazine will become Zoomer under the command of Ms Boyd.

She used to run Flare. We can expect a spritely mag.

"I actually like older people," she says, peering at me kindly.

"They're smarter, they're wiser and they have a lot to say.

"And we're all going to be there someday."

I can hardly wait.

In a lobby nook, a string quartet plays Haydn's #18.

Oh to be #18 again.

So, what the hell is a Zoomer, you ask?

A boomer with zip.

Guess who dreamed it up.

We're lucky it's not Znoomer.

Only Moses Znaimer would try to name a whole generation after himself.

And guess who he's recruited as a VP, in his drive to corner the Geritol crowd.

Susan Eng.

You may remember her carrying the "diversify or die" banner into battles as an activist and police board member in the '90s.

Eng hardly fits the little old lady mould, either. She's 55, but looks 40, and does just fine without a cane.

At least she's old enough to join CARP, which won't let you in until you prove you're 50.

Say, Susan, isn't that discrimination!?

"We're working on an associate membership," Eng assures me.

"But the fact that the 50-plus demographic needs to be heard is more serious than the fact 25- and 35-year-olds can't join us."

You're right. Those punks. Screw 'em.

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