A man was arrested in Sarasota, Fla., after he allegedly stole a copy of Sports Illustrated from the shelf and pleasured himself in the store's toy section.
According to an arrest affidavit posted on TheSmokingGun.com, a site that posts funny or scandalous legal documents, William Tyler Black was arrested Sept. 14 and charged with battery and exposure of sexual organs.
These charges have not been proven in court.
A Walmart supervisor told police the man “ejaculated onto the floor and wiped his hand on a toy along with rubbing his foot in the suspected semen on the floor.”
When police asked him what he was doing in the toy aisle, he said he was looking for a present for his daughter.
A police source told The Smoking Gun the dirtied toy was a Star Wars lightsaber, and the magazine was a Sports Illustrated with Brooklyn Decker on the cover.